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NORAD is once again tracking the annual threat from the shadowy organization known as SANTA. Skeptics of the existence of this terrorist group from the inscrutable Far North need only click on the map’s video icons to see evidence of a team (or possibly more than one), led by an operative that appears to have a glowing red nose, striking Mt. Everest, the Taj Mahal, and even the International Space Station among other high profile targets. As of 5:05 PST, NORAD’s twitter account is reporting that these Christmas fanatics are headed west across the Atlantic.

Residents of all major cities in the US should remain on high alert. However, those in Seattle should be especially concerned as the AP has quoted one Maj. Stacia Reddish as stating that the Space Needle is among SANTA’s favorite targets. Please turn off all decorative lights to avoid giving landing guidance to the terrorists’ sleigh. Some reports say that leaving eggnog and cookies out will appease them should they land, but I for one believe that we should never appease terrorists (though perhaps an extra dose of rum in the nog would foil their nefarious plans).

UPDATE: The red-nosed terrorist has been identified as one Rudolph.

UPDATE 2: As of 8:07 PST, SANTA has breached US security borders, according to NORAD’s Twitter feed. Residents of southern states have reported hearing a menacing ho ho ho.

UPDATE 3: HOLY SHIT! SEATTLE IS UNDER ATTACK!

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