Read my latest flash, Venison, at 52|250.

It never hurts to have a reminder to let the people you love know that you love them. It never hurts to have a reminder to be kind, gentle, and appreciative of the people who are precious to us. Such reminders never hurt by themselves.

What does hurt is when a commercial culture gives us, instead of these simple reminders, ads for flowers and bears that suggest that men, if they don’t give enough, will be regarded as inferior and women, if they don’t get enough, should take it to mean that they are regarded as worthless. Then, instead of having a holiday that is a reminder to do what we ought to do every day, we have one that encourages female passivity, perpetuates the gold-digger stereotype, and stresses out the men who are supposed to buy all this shit (especially in a bad economy). It’s also heteronormative, and it holds up the couple as the only valid form of relationship. Did I miss anything?

So what, then, should we do about Valentine’s Day? Treat it as a reminder, acknowledge the problematic cultural constructs around it, but mostly, whatever relationship you are in (and if you are single then this means your non-romantic relationship or your relationship with yourself), use this day to be grateful for what’s good in it. Treat the other person, people, or yourself with love, whatever that means for you.

For my Scholastic across the Atlantic: tell me, do you recognize this place without clicking through?

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