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Elizabeth Kate Switaj
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Elizabeth Kate Switaj
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Posted on 16:22, November 5th, 2009 by ![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=d8154895-9e13-4f6e-b1a3-c93bb2cae3f9)
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Poignant! Moving.
I like the images of the blue coat hanging on the red door, the rain…
Very evocative of real emotion, Elizabeth. Nice!
Paul Oakley’s last blog ..Dress (-down) rehearsal…
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Thank you. I was trying to really focus on the specifics without making them seem too out of keeping with the everyday (thus red rather than, say, the color of watered-down Shiraz which is too distancing).
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“this one so small
they can’t both fit on it
other so big
she couldn’t get out of it
away from it”
Would I be wrong to hear an echo there of the lyrics to the spiritual “Rock My soul in the Bosom of Abraham”? Anyway, I like this. Thanks for sharing it.
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Hmm. I hadn’t made that connection while I was working on it, but now that you mention it, I can hear it. I’ll have to think more about this.
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it’s been a year
since she left
that first white bed
and rain soaked through her hair
and the blue coat
she forgot (how) to button
This is a really nice detail – the way she gives in to what she needs to do, even to standing in the rain and her unbuttoned coat.
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I like how the beds are clear metaphors for the people, as in a fairy tale or fable, and how the relationship occurs through their intriguing and quirky description. I love the last line, simple, declarative and powerful.
David Moolten’s last blog ..Florence
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The two beds perfectly describe our innermost conflict. Thats the way I saw it. The Blue Coat and all.
scrawled sheet of paper
gautami tripathy’s last blog ..scrawled sheet of paper
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I’m glad that the girl has left behind the things that were cruel and uncomfortable and is loved again.
Derrick’s last blog ..Saturday Spotlight.
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And I’m glad that aspect came across.
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nicely done…thanks for sharing this
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This is very powerful. The image of the bed is a very potent image — the violence of giving birth, the comfort of children tucked in at night, the dangers of making love, the death bed. You negotiate these undercurrents very well in this poem. I sense several of them — young children, safety, adults, different dangers. But you don’t give away all the details. Suggestive in a sure way.
Therese Broderick’s last blog ..ReadWritePoem #100
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