Thursday Read Write Poem

Posted on 13:49, December 10th, 2009 by
EKSwitaj
Read my latest story, "The All-Nighter", at 52|250.
Making Coffee
my fingers burned on frayed
circuits in the drip-brew
and too much force of water
steam through used grounds
I give in to richer scents
I give French press a try
select a supple roast
to pour along glass skin
and heat the water by myself
before communion can begin
and when you can’t distinguish us
when our mixture blocks the light
then the pushing can begin
until we’re free of grit & grounds
and we drink our brew together
under cigarettes & a purple duvet
written in response to
read write prompt #104: how to write the sex poem right, by nick carbó
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Once you have french press you can never go back to that old percolator!
Good job with the prompt!
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You are one of my favourite contemporary poet!
nature copulates
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I am a great fan of duvets, but only the European variety filled with duck down. There is nothing as stimulating as a bitter cold night, wind howling, a roaring fire, (leave off the cigs),and brewing together under a purple satin cover. I do like the way you have brewed this coffee.
Regards,
DH
Donald Harbour’s last blog ..A humble pomegranate
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I like the way you place a rhyme at the heart of this poem:
select a supple roast / to pour along glass skin
and heat the water by myself / before communion can begin
coupled with iambic rhythm.
The movement from the solitary to the shared. is very nice. Coffee and cigarettes shared under a purple duvet – how evocative!
Paul Oakley’s last blog ..Today
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I like the patience and creative mystery of “brewing”, a great metaphor for lovemaking, especially with coffee’s dark, bitter but so flavorful, aromatous, and of course hot experience. The word communion is neat for correctly implying the sacredness of sex.
David Moolten’s last blog ..Modigliani’s Nudes
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I really like this. The rhyme that connects the two center stanzas is lovely in its effect. It reminds of two strands of DNA spiraling around one another.
James’s last blog ..James Dream of the Olympus Mons
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I love that as the poem progresses the entities become one,
“and when you can’t distinguish us
when our mixture blocks the light”.
I also love the easy rhyme and rhythm that helped carry the action. The best part is the coffee though, that I had to give up and I miss so much. I really enjoyed this sensual look at coffee. thanks for sharing, Elizabeth!
Linda Fraser’s last blog ..READ,WRITE PROMPT #104: THE SEX POEM
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Very enjoyable.
I love that splash of purple
Barbara’s last blog ..Sunday Drivers
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A stimulating blend, Elizabeth!
Derrick’s last blog ..Sounds of Christmas 3.
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Delightful use of couplets, yes.
And the metaphor of brewing, with so much detail, is terrific. Nick is right, not “saying” sex is much, much better. I liked the idea of self-pleasuring that I *thought* I read as part of the loving. And ending with a cigarette is perfect. I thought that was when the poem became about sex at its most explicit, and nicely, at the end, shared pleasures.
Deb’s last blog ..Shadow Shot Sunday
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